june pawpawty sekurity report

Posted by snickers on June 16th, 2009
In the categories: pawpawty
With 3 comments so far. Add yours!

[begin report]

sekurity officers for june pawpawty were: Sekurity Captain Snickers (@Snick_the_Dog), Officer Shawnee (@ShawneeShep), Officer Samson (@SamsonCatt), Officer India (@Indy_cat), and Volunteer Kenworth (@GD_Kenworth)

PAWPAWTY SECURITY REPORT

6/13 2:00 PM EDT: pawty started right on time

6/13 3:10 PM EDT: @laineyspawtique thought @toby_cat was selling illegal drugs, but we check. its only catnip. catnip not illegal weed

6/13 3:15 PM EDT: @dobie_evgeni’s avatar has been stolen or abducted by aliens – investigashun in progress

6/13 3:30 PM EDT: SEKURITY ALERT!!! ignore message from TipjoyHelper NOT legit.

6/13 3:45 PM EDT: @Happpiii tried to jump in the punchbowl

6:13 4:14 PM EDT: @QuadPawd tried tricky contest cheating attempt

6/13 4:30 PM EDT: @psammy had too much to drink

6/13 5:00 PM EDT: @Mulder_Cat ran off and hid something in his car

6/13 5:03 PM EDT: SHIFT CHANGE @ShawneeShep now offishully in charge of #pawpawty sekurity.

6/13 5:51 PM: @pimpthecat possibly haz too much catnip

6/13 8:45 PM EDT: officer shawnee had to reminds @HotLabRescue that there be no skinny dipping at the #pawpawty

6/13 9:30 PM EDT:@HotMBC was nomming 2 much on grimy duck at the nomming booth and got a warning

6/13 10:00 PM EDT: SHIFT CHANGE @SamsonCatt now in charge of sekurity

6/13 10:50 PM EDT: @LunaMyTuna threatened to eat @elguapito and was reprimanded by officer samson. dispute broke up peacefully

6/14 12:01 AM EDT: @mugsydog passed out and had to be carted off by officer samson

6/14 12:10 AM EDT: officer snickers tried to return to pawty but had been locked out by stupid twitter search problem (although there is some suspishun this may have been orchestrated by @loupeb due to jealousy over kiss between @sylviedog and officer snickers earlier in evening. @perrythebirman and @BrewskieButt mentioned as possible suspekts also.)

6/13 12:50 AM EDT: a rowdy scuffle was broken up. a new sekurity officer was recruited by officer on duty officer samson

6/14 12:55 AM EDT: SHIFT CHANGE officer samson went off duty, leaving new officer india in charge

6/14 6:53 AM EDT: @BadAndy_KityKat was mugged by @vampirekat. nip stolen. bad andy wounded in attack. culprit NOT apprehended, but reprimanded. goods not recovered. there is currently warrant out for arrest of vampire kat

6/14 7:25 AM EDT: @GD_Kenworth volunteered for sekurity duty to serve and protect

6/14 12:00 PM EDT: SHIFT CHANGE officer snickers came back on duty and was happy to find the pawpawty in very groovy state (anipals good pawty goers for most part)

6/14 1:32 PM EDT: grimy duck absorbed too much niptini from noms, ran from nomming booth and went streaking through pawty pursued by manxington. grimy was caught by morriscat and locked back in nomming booth by officer snickers. morris then sang lullabies to calm down grimy while manx pled for leniency for juvenile grimy duck. officer snickers decided to release grimy under manxington’s supervision with probation and community service (time served)

6/14 2:00 PM EDT: pawpawty ended peacefully and on time. goal of over $1,000 earned for romeo’s charity angels for animals.

OUSTANDING WARRANTS
a warrant has been issued for arrest of @VampireKat in connection with pawpawty mugging. reward of one dozen cookies for tips leading to apprehenshun of suspekt vampire kat. suspekt armed with teeth and claws and considered dangerous

DEPARTMENTAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
Officer Shawnee (@ShawneeShep) is hereby promoted to Sergeant Shawnee Shep in recognition of actions above and beyond call of dooty.

RECRUITING
pawpawty sekurity force is recruiting officers for july pawpawty and beyond. must be willing to commit to at least two hours of peace keeping and reporting during pawpawty. job description is as follows:

greet new pawty goers and make sure they know link to pay optional cover charge (donation)
be sure no one puts the bitey on anyone else
keep pawty from getting so rowdy that neighbors complain
take reports of misdeeds. make arrests only if necessary to protect safey of anipals
some anipals drink too much, so help make sure no one falls down goes boom
put on snarly face to chase off spammers if needed
haz good time!

any anipal interested in volunteering for sekurity force should contact Captain Snickers or Sergeant Shawnee. (sorry humans, only anipals can join sekurity force)

[end report]

please note: kissing of officers on duty not a punishable offense

to learn more about pawpawty visit frugaldougal’s blog